Sunday, March 13, 2011

1 year in remission!!!

Hello all! So as most of you know from facebook, I had my scans March 9th, and it was completely negative, making it a full year in remission. BUT, I had my post Allo vaccinations before I left NYC on Thursday, (5- 3 in one arm, 2 in the other) and I woke up Friday running terribly high fevers (highest got to 102.9), body aches, chills, the works. So, I have been taking Tylenol around the clock, and by last night, the Tylenol wasnt holding my fevers anymore. I thought this was probably just my immune system reacting to the vaccinations, but I took a look at my arm, and there is a red, hard, area about the size of a baseball spot on my arm that was very hot and painful. So, I called the docs on call in NYC and she was suspicious of cellulitis in my arm, since my fevers werent so low grade. So now, Im on antibiotics and it seems to be helping. Some of the redness is going away.

So, now Im completely and totally freaked out. I was planning on getting my feet back in the water and maybe start working again. But I just dont know if its a good idea. Have these vaccines screwed up my immune system? Why was I so suseptible to infection? Is my next scan going to show something because of these vaccines? Have they freaked my system out?

Im just reminded of laying in the hospital bed at Vanderbilt, fever ablazing, and thinking that was the beginning of the end. Fevers scare me to no end, and so does being sick. Ive been well for a year now,and then this happens. I know it seems insignificant to some of you, but I guess its some sort of PTSD. I have gone back and forth as to wether to fill out the application to my old job, or just wait. Wait for a little longer just to make sure everything is ok after this vaccination/cellulitis scare. I dont know. Im afraid of the cancer coming back again, and if I do go back to work, Ill be dropped from disability, and my insurance through the state, what will I do? This is my main concern about going back to work. I have to have money. Disability isnt much, but its something. I would probably have to go back through the same process that takes about 6 months to get your first check. My doctors want me to go back to work. I just dont know that Im ready.

So in the midst of wonderful news, some concern.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Kara!!! Congrats!!! This is the best news I've heard in a long, long time. I'm so very happy for you. Hopefully the vaccination issues will pass soon.

As for going back to work, I wonder the same thing. Do you feel able? How is the fatigue? I have a lot of left over problems and my fatigue is still bad.

I could go to work one day but making it back the next day and the one after that, so on and on? I know I can't. And as much as I want to have the freedom that a full time paycheck brings, especially since my husband isn't working, if I can't do it-I lose the disability. So the same thinking you have.

And...being a a nurse is hard work. It is physical, emotional, intellectual. All very taxing.

I believe that you are able to work a certain amount under disability but double check that to be sure.

My thoughts are looking at hobbies that could bring in an income. Things I always wanted to do but couldn't when I worked and then when in the midst of cancer. But now, why not? Photography, sewing, selling on Ebay/Amazon, etc. It would supplement disability and give a chance to explore your creativity.

Well that's my 2 cents. Just take it slow.

And back to the awesomeness of remission...YAY!!!

I love you bunches Kara! =)

susiegb said...

Congrats from me too Kara - really happy! When I think of how sick you were a year or two ago ... :)

Being an Aussie Iability vs working vs money issue. But maybe if you could start off doing a bit of work without losing the disability that'd give you an idea of how you would go?

best
susie

Morgan Thompson said...

Congrats on your one year!!! What great news!! You are my inspiration :)

I've worked the whole time during my treatment and although it has definitely been rough and there were days I struggled to go, I do think it helped my mind to focus on something else and not just being a cancer patient. But maybe I should have taken more time off, who knows? Every person is different and don't feel pressure to feel like either way is the "right" way just do what feels good for you.

Congrats again, I'm sooo happy for you!

Smilen Champ said...

HI Kara
My name is Jenn and I came across your site. U are an amazing, extroidinary, wonderful, positive, and determined person. U are an inspirational hero.
I was born with a rare life threatening disease.
www.miraclechamp.webs.com